Thousands of French citizens planning to poop in the River Seine had their plans flushed down the toilet after it was announced that president Emmanuel Macron and Paris mayor Anne Hidalgo would not swim in the river as they had previously announced, citing “political reasons.”
Officials didn’t expand on the decision, instead loosely saying the swim would happen “eventually.” Many suspect the decision was prompted by online plans to poop in the Siene with scientific precision, which would have ensured floaters hit the politicians right as they planned to dive into the river on Sunday at noon.
Citizens are irate at the astronomical amount of
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